Monday 15-03-2021 - 12:24

TW Violence Against Women, Sexual Harassment, Mental Health

Following the news last week, your Student Officer Team, Sarah McAllister, Seun Twins, Nailah Haque, Anna Marshall and Ewan Swift, have issued the following statement.

We, as an Officer Team, wanted to articulate some of our thoughts on the past week, throughout which our thoughts have been with the family and friends of Sarah Everard. This was not easy to put into words and it may not be an easy read. If you would like someone to talk to please get in touch with the support services available to you. We have linked some options at the end of this post.

Last week began with seeing social media flooded with the celebration of International Women’s Day, and yet it was the same week that we witnessed Meghan Markle open up about her mental health and in response be told she was lying. It was the same week that we faced the deeply upsetting news about the death of Sarah Everard.

At this moment in time, Sarah's family and friends must be going through an unimaginable ordeal. Anything we have to say, we want to approach with sensitivity for her loved ones. Sarah is not just a photo in the media, but a young woman that deserves respect and privacy, and did not choose to be the face of a national outcry. 

For many of us within the Durham community, the news over the last week has been inescapable. It presents us with the brutal reality – that women are repeatedly told how to defend ourselves but even doing everything in our power is not always enough to protect us. 

How many women can think of a moment when they have felt threatened when they are by themselves outside? How often do women ask their friends to message them when they’re home? How many times has a woman put her keys between her fingers or created a fake phone call on a walk home? How many women have been sexually harassed?

Telling women to stay at home...
Telling women to wear different clothing...
Telling women to not go out in the dark...
Telling women to walk a different route...

...does not protect women. It just gives us a list of reasons why we are to blame for the things other people do to hurt us. It teaches us to internalise violating acts against us as something which we could have prevented. It teaches guilt, and means we are less likely to tell someone if something does happen.

It just means another woman will be harmed. We cannot change what has happened to so many women, but we can speak out about it now to make sure the finger is pointed at the real cause.

We need to stop blaming women for what happens. That is not the problem. Instead, we need to learn that violence against women in any of these forms is completely unacceptable. 

This is why we need better laws, collective action and male allies who put training and education into action.

Without police support, it is impossible to host the socially-distanced event we had been planning. We have therefore worked with the Womxn’s Association, on behalf of other student feminist groups, to organise a memorial site for the next week in the covered area outside the Students' Union building, and there will be an online vigil this evening (Monday 15 March) which all can attend.

Alongside dealing with the grief of Sarah’s death, and countless other women, to see the disturbing images over the weekend of the police’s behaviour towards women at vigils in both London and Brighton has been too much. This week has been mentally exhausting and it is completely understandable to take some time to process all of this. Take the time now to be sad, to cry, or just to sit silently and think about what has happened. If you do not share in the experiences, take the time to listen to the women around you, and understand their responses and stories. If you are scared, it is brave in itself to admit that fear to others. If you are angry, hold onto that and let it ground you. Remember what motivated this desire for change. Change does not just happen. Change requires so much pain that it eventually becomes unbearable and sparks such outcry that society is forced to reform. This situation, this incident, is unbearable.

St Cuthbert’s Society JCR, Sarah’s college, have organised a fundraiser on behalf of Wearside Women in Need in honour of her. If you would  like to donate you can do so here: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/cuths

If you have been affected by recent events and would like to reach out to seek support, here are some options:

• Speak to your college support staff https://www.dur.ac.uk/colleges.se.division/local/studentsupportdirect/college.contacts/
• Speak to your college Welfare teams who provide peer support
• Self-refer to the University’s Counselling Service https://www.dur.ac.uk/counselling.service/
• Reach out to Nightline, a peer led confidential listening service https://durhamnightline.com/
• Reach out to other listening services such as Samaritans or SHOUT https://www.samaritans.org/                         https://giveusashout.org/
• If you would like to report an incident of bullying, harassment or abuse, you can use the University’s Report and Support Tool         https://reportandsupport.durham.ac.uk/
• Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling Centre https://www.rsacc-thecentre.org.uk/downloads/ 
• The Meadows Sexual Assault Referral Centre http://www.themeadowsdurham.org.uk/ 
• Angelou Centre (Support for black, minority and migrant survivors of domestic and sexual violence): https://angelou-centre.org.uk/
• Galop LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline (Weekdays 10am-5pm): 08009995428
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Open 24/7): 08082000247
• University Chaplains https://www.dur.ac.uk/faithsupport/chaplains/